I really just want everyone to know how much restraint I showed today. I thought of something that would be really funny to post online in a public setting, something which would no doubt have made a great many people laugh, but something which would also be offensive to someone I know and I chose NOT to post it just so they didn't cry themselves to sleep and have everyone think less of them. Maybe that doesn't really make me all that good, but I think it at least makes me not-quite-so-bad for the day.
In other news, although I am not in any particularly dire need of money I have decided to sell some of my posessions for the good of humanity, I will be creating a listing every day or so with something I own and prices will be extremely affordable, the listings will be found in the Temple Network of Facebook, that's right I finally found a facebook feature I enjoy. Today's listing is already up so happy bargain hunting!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Remarkable
Before a trip to 7-11 I had been under the delussioned impression that my day could not improve any further, however Frito-Lay, genius producers of Doritos have managed to outdo themselves with the creation of their new flavor "X-13D" and I know what you're thinking "hey, that sounds like a robot from Star Wars, but you'd be wrong, because this tastes far worse than a robot.
The flavor is listed as some sort of mystery, but my roommate had already reported to me that they actually taste of burger. I decided to put it to the test, with over three dozen ingredients, none of them coming from any sort of animal I thought this would be a massive accomplishment. I was correct. I smelled the bag as I opened it, it smelled more like a pungant garbage can than a burger, but I decided to persevere. I took a bite and did indeed instantly recognize the flavor and I will fully admit, I was a little impressed.
These chips do not taste like burgers, they taste almost EXACTLY like McDonald's hamburgers, complete with Pickles, that tomato-esque sauce and meager diced onions. There's even a little bit of flavor that tastes like McDonald's hamburger bun. That being said the flavor isn't neccessarily pleasurable and probably could be likened in a way to licking the side of either R2-D2 or C3PO, but nevertheless I am impressed that Frito-Lay ingenuity would be able to concoct such a precise replica using only vaguely edible chemicals. Frito-Lay is also oferring up the opportunity for its customer base to name the flavor themselves by way of online submission. I really wanted to submit something that reflected my view that the level of genius it took to make this disgusting potato chip flavor could have been applied to curing HIV or cancer. That being said I couldn't think of anything appropriate, so I just submitted the name "Tastes like AIDS" and left it at that, perhaps X-13D or R2-D2 is better though...
Speaking of robots though and given my recent facebook post this is relevant. I recently received an invitation to a "Zombies vs Robots" party. The idea being that people will dress as either Zombies or Robots, the girl who's throwing the party is pretty cool and of a relatively high intelligence, I just want to say that before my next statement.
What a retarded party idea. I've seen Pirate vs Ninja parties and they work well, because everyone knows pirates and ninjas hate each other, plus both of those costumes are pretty easy to come up with using household items....at least, if you're me. Zombies vs Robots however.....I mean, I can't even think of a motivation behind such a conflict, plus for every bit as cool as pirates and ninjas are, zombies and robots are equally as lame. Finally, I want to know who in their right mind is going to actually assemble a Robot costume AND wear it for the night?
That being said I imagine the party will turn into a giant fest of fake blood and ripped clothing with not a robot in sight and you know what....I'm fucking down for that.
Have a good night everyone!
The flavor is listed as some sort of mystery, but my roommate had already reported to me that they actually taste of burger. I decided to put it to the test, with over three dozen ingredients, none of them coming from any sort of animal I thought this would be a massive accomplishment. I was correct. I smelled the bag as I opened it, it smelled more like a pungant garbage can than a burger, but I decided to persevere. I took a bite and did indeed instantly recognize the flavor and I will fully admit, I was a little impressed.
These chips do not taste like burgers, they taste almost EXACTLY like McDonald's hamburgers, complete with Pickles, that tomato-esque sauce and meager diced onions. There's even a little bit of flavor that tastes like McDonald's hamburger bun. That being said the flavor isn't neccessarily pleasurable and probably could be likened in a way to licking the side of either R2-D2 or C3PO, but nevertheless I am impressed that Frito-Lay ingenuity would be able to concoct such a precise replica using only vaguely edible chemicals. Frito-Lay is also oferring up the opportunity for its customer base to name the flavor themselves by way of online submission. I really wanted to submit something that reflected my view that the level of genius it took to make this disgusting potato chip flavor could have been applied to curing HIV or cancer. That being said I couldn't think of anything appropriate, so I just submitted the name "Tastes like AIDS" and left it at that, perhaps X-13D or R2-D2 is better though...
Speaking of robots though and given my recent facebook post this is relevant. I recently received an invitation to a "Zombies vs Robots" party. The idea being that people will dress as either Zombies or Robots, the girl who's throwing the party is pretty cool and of a relatively high intelligence, I just want to say that before my next statement.
What a retarded party idea. I've seen Pirate vs Ninja parties and they work well, because everyone knows pirates and ninjas hate each other, plus both of those costumes are pretty easy to come up with using household items....at least, if you're me. Zombies vs Robots however.....I mean, I can't even think of a motivation behind such a conflict, plus for every bit as cool as pirates and ninjas are, zombies and robots are equally as lame. Finally, I want to know who in their right mind is going to actually assemble a Robot costume AND wear it for the night?
That being said I imagine the party will turn into a giant fest of fake blood and ripped clothing with not a robot in sight and you know what....I'm fucking down for that.
Have a good night everyone!
Thank the Heavens
So like most of collegic America I am in posession of a facebook profile, I was lucky enough to acquire one with the face of a pretty cool lookin' dude holding a bottle of Captain Morgan's Rum. For referrence anyone who wants to facebook me I'll give you a couple of clues, Temple network, first name Trev, and I just described me picture to you. Good Luck. Anyway I was looking around today at the new applications you can add to your facebook, presumably so you can communicate with your friends so well online that you never have to see them in person.
I'm not saying I'm against this, I mean, I can think of tons of my 'friends' who I'd rather not have to see. Anyway back to the matter at hand, I discovered one called "SGO", like most Americans I am enthralled by the concept of acronyms and needed to know more, so I read the description: "Finally you can express your sexual orientation and gender identity accurately."
Fantastic. That had really been worrying me. I promptly took a look at it and found out not only EXACTLY what gender I am (Male) but ALSO exactly who I'm sexually oriented towards (Some named Christine from out West). At last the day of reckoning is at hand, tomorrow I will set out to find this 'Christine' and fullfil my SGO destiny.
Have a good night everyone!
I'm not saying I'm against this, I mean, I can think of tons of my 'friends' who I'd rather not have to see. Anyway back to the matter at hand, I discovered one called "SGO", like most Americans I am enthralled by the concept of acronyms and needed to know more, so I read the description: "Finally you can express your sexual orientation and gender identity accurately."
Fantastic. That had really been worrying me. I promptly took a look at it and found out not only EXACTLY what gender I am (Male) but ALSO exactly who I'm sexually oriented towards (Some named Christine from out West). At last the day of reckoning is at hand, tomorrow I will set out to find this 'Christine' and fullfil my SGO destiny.
Have a good night everyone!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Jokes
I find myself wondering this evening what exactly seriousness is, how worthwhile it is, and whether or not I exhibit traits of it.
3 people stood with me tonight and asked when I have been serious.
I've always had a firm belief in the power of opposites and the ways in which they interact, I believe that some of the most serious messages can be carried and received through humor, meanwhile some of the most hysterical farses are in serious statements, serious inquiries and serious lives.
Perhaps it is because of this belief, I have tried to prevent myself from being a farse by avoiding being serious. This post is making less and less sense. Have a good night everyone.
3 people stood with me tonight and asked when I have been serious.
I've always had a firm belief in the power of opposites and the ways in which they interact, I believe that some of the most serious messages can be carried and received through humor, meanwhile some of the most hysterical farses are in serious statements, serious inquiries and serious lives.
Perhaps it is because of this belief, I have tried to prevent myself from being a farse by avoiding being serious. This post is making less and less sense. Have a good night everyone.
Monday, June 11, 2007
88, It was me
Perhaps my observations add up to some sort of galactic coincidence, if this is not the case however then there are a few distinct properties that seem to add up to the fact that the vast majority of the female population is a form of insane most often referred to as "bat-shit." One particular trend of note which I would like to highlight is the predictability of girls once departed from a boyfriend who go on to make horrific decisions regarding the next people they decide to date or hook up with. I mean, this comes in many forms, sometimes they do it with your friends, other members of your family, coworkers, or sometimes it will be someone who's going to just treat them horribly but then sometimes they can make a decision SO absolutely crazy that it defies any form of logic.
To reinforce this point I would like to referrence a story of a girl named Elizabeth. Elizabeth is the older sister of my good friend Stubbs. Now, for multiple years Elizabeth has been dating a guy named Kevin, but recently she got scared of the whole committment thing and broke it off. This is fair enough, I mean it's an understandable fear to have and sometimes people need space. I got the train the other day though and an into Stubbs and he began telling me about what has happened since.
In the two weeks since breaking up with Kevin Elizabeth has found a new boyfriend already, this in itself is fine, but then I was told more about this mystery suitor. First, she just ran into him one day and they decided to grab lunch, not too weird, and I haven't seen this guy in person so perhaps he's attractive, but by everything else I've heard I highly doubt it. Anyway, this guy lives in the city and I forget his real name so I'm just gonna call him Goober for purposes of this entry. Goober lives in the city alone with no roommates at all. He has very few, if any friends and lives in an apartment that is filled with shelled out PC's. Now I mean, this is fine, he's probably just quiet and a slow social mover, and perhaps he's a bit of a nerd, and that's fine. At the same time I can't help but feel that there is something wrong with him, and perhaps that stems from a single conversation which was passed on to me.
Elizabeth was over at Goober's house and it was getting late. Goober asks "So are you going to stay over?" To which Elizabeth replies "Yeah I may as well."
A time passes and Goober says "Well, we aren't going to do anything tonight." At this stage Elizabeth inquires "What do you mean?" and Goober answers "You know, like sex, we're not going to tonight."
Elizabeth pauses and says "Yeah, I wasn't planning on it." Thus far the conversation to me seems....strange, but passable, but I think it's here that I can pinpoint where the weirdness is for me because Goober pipes up with:
"Yeah, and I mean, I was masturbating all day to make sure."
At this Elizabeth likely gave him a strange look so Goober felt the need to add:
"Don't worry, it was to you, so it's ok."
Now, I don't think it's too presumptuous to say that any normal person would probably leave at that point and likely not talk to Goober again. For Elizabeth this is not true, she is still going out with him and even had him meet her parents this past weekend.
I'm sure it will all work itself out, for now I just hope that Kevin doesn't know who she's dating now, because if he knows what he got left for, he's gotta feel like shit. I suppose my lesson of the day is: Forget your ex's.
Have a good night everyone
To reinforce this point I would like to referrence a story of a girl named Elizabeth. Elizabeth is the older sister of my good friend Stubbs. Now, for multiple years Elizabeth has been dating a guy named Kevin, but recently she got scared of the whole committment thing and broke it off. This is fair enough, I mean it's an understandable fear to have and sometimes people need space. I got the train the other day though and an into Stubbs and he began telling me about what has happened since.
In the two weeks since breaking up with Kevin Elizabeth has found a new boyfriend already, this in itself is fine, but then I was told more about this mystery suitor. First, she just ran into him one day and they decided to grab lunch, not too weird, and I haven't seen this guy in person so perhaps he's attractive, but by everything else I've heard I highly doubt it. Anyway, this guy lives in the city and I forget his real name so I'm just gonna call him Goober for purposes of this entry. Goober lives in the city alone with no roommates at all. He has very few, if any friends and lives in an apartment that is filled with shelled out PC's. Now I mean, this is fine, he's probably just quiet and a slow social mover, and perhaps he's a bit of a nerd, and that's fine. At the same time I can't help but feel that there is something wrong with him, and perhaps that stems from a single conversation which was passed on to me.
Elizabeth was over at Goober's house and it was getting late. Goober asks "So are you going to stay over?" To which Elizabeth replies "Yeah I may as well."
A time passes and Goober says "Well, we aren't going to do anything tonight." At this stage Elizabeth inquires "What do you mean?" and Goober answers "You know, like sex, we're not going to tonight."
Elizabeth pauses and says "Yeah, I wasn't planning on it." Thus far the conversation to me seems....strange, but passable, but I think it's here that I can pinpoint where the weirdness is for me because Goober pipes up with:
"Yeah, and I mean, I was masturbating all day to make sure."
At this Elizabeth likely gave him a strange look so Goober felt the need to add:
"Don't worry, it was to you, so it's ok."
Now, I don't think it's too presumptuous to say that any normal person would probably leave at that point and likely not talk to Goober again. For Elizabeth this is not true, she is still going out with him and even had him meet her parents this past weekend.
I'm sure it will all work itself out, for now I just hope that Kevin doesn't know who she's dating now, because if he knows what he got left for, he's gotta feel like shit. I suppose my lesson of the day is: Forget your ex's.
Have a good night everyone
Friday, June 8, 2007
Control Yourself
I'm probably an asshole for thinking this, but it's based on firm personal experience at this point. In my opinion the majority of public bathrooms should be removed, there are multiple reasons for this not the least of which being the fact that this morning I had to clean shit in the bathroom at Barnes and Noble because some incompetant retard/ ignorant asshole didn't know how to/ chose not to shit in the toilet, but rather around it. The phrase "I had to" is used loosely here since one of the managers offered to do it, but I decided to spare them the disgusting task and do it myself.
Here's my case: at the last three jobs I have worked at there have been public bathrooms. People come in to use them frequently and do things like shit on the seat, use them to smoke or shoot up or sometimes just clog it on purpose. This happens a lot in the city especially. The other side of my case is that the average human doesn't have to shit more than once or twice a day, and most are capable of dropping a deuce before they go out for the day, factor that with the fact that generally once you know you need to shit you should have a good hour or so before it becomes neccessary unless you have some sort of bowel related problem. To me this also equates to the fact that if you are a responsible citizen you probably will not need to take a shit in a store that you spend less than 30 minutes in.
Like I said, maybe I'm an asshole for saying this, but I really think that public restrooms are a convenience that is largely unneccessary and frequently abused, they should be removed.
Here's my case: at the last three jobs I have worked at there have been public bathrooms. People come in to use them frequently and do things like shit on the seat, use them to smoke or shoot up or sometimes just clog it on purpose. This happens a lot in the city especially. The other side of my case is that the average human doesn't have to shit more than once or twice a day, and most are capable of dropping a deuce before they go out for the day, factor that with the fact that generally once you know you need to shit you should have a good hour or so before it becomes neccessary unless you have some sort of bowel related problem. To me this also equates to the fact that if you are a responsible citizen you probably will not need to take a shit in a store that you spend less than 30 minutes in.
Like I said, maybe I'm an asshole for saying this, but I really think that public restrooms are a convenience that is largely unneccessary and frequently abused, they should be removed.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Updated Regularly
So, I had intended upon taking a month off when my birthday came. In the end I suppose I took closer to three. Regardless I am now back, it's been a good three months and I've had my fair share of new experiences, so hopefully I can impart some of the lessons I have learned to this 'internet' everyone keeps blabbing about. This morning however I am going to make myself some breakfast.
My breakfast this morning shall consist of some scrambled eggs, bacon, lightly toasted bread with butter and a handful of sliced mushrooms. I find that most mornings I have little time for breakfast, I have to be at work by 7:30 and usually have just enough time for a shower before I throw my clothes on and head out the door. I am a firm believer that when a person has the chance they should make themselves a large and hearty breakfast, there is a sense of accomplishment inherent in all cooking and I think that breakfast is really something which can set the tone for a day, I want today to be productive since I am hoping to write a number of pages for one of the two written works I am currently in the process of creating. Of course, it's also possible that this is all bullshit and no amount of breakfast will have me writing productively today, but we'll see.
My breakfast this morning shall consist of some scrambled eggs, bacon, lightly toasted bread with butter and a handful of sliced mushrooms. I find that most mornings I have little time for breakfast, I have to be at work by 7:30 and usually have just enough time for a shower before I throw my clothes on and head out the door. I am a firm believer that when a person has the chance they should make themselves a large and hearty breakfast, there is a sense of accomplishment inherent in all cooking and I think that breakfast is really something which can set the tone for a day, I want today to be productive since I am hoping to write a number of pages for one of the two written works I am currently in the process of creating. Of course, it's also possible that this is all bullshit and no amount of breakfast will have me writing productively today, but we'll see.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)