Monday, June 11, 2007

88, It was me

Perhaps my observations add up to some sort of galactic coincidence, if this is not the case however then there are a few distinct properties that seem to add up to the fact that the vast majority of the female population is a form of insane most often referred to as "bat-shit." One particular trend of note which I would like to highlight is the predictability of girls once departed from a boyfriend who go on to make horrific decisions regarding the next people they decide to date or hook up with. I mean, this comes in many forms, sometimes they do it with your friends, other members of your family, coworkers, or sometimes it will be someone who's going to just treat them horribly but then sometimes they can make a decision SO absolutely crazy that it defies any form of logic.

To reinforce this point I would like to referrence a story of a girl named Elizabeth. Elizabeth is the older sister of my good friend Stubbs. Now, for multiple years Elizabeth has been dating a guy named Kevin, but recently she got scared of the whole committment thing and broke it off. This is fair enough, I mean it's an understandable fear to have and sometimes people need space. I got the train the other day though and an into Stubbs and he began telling me about what has happened since.

In the two weeks since breaking up with Kevin Elizabeth has found a new boyfriend already, this in itself is fine, but then I was told more about this mystery suitor. First, she just ran into him one day and they decided to grab lunch, not too weird, and I haven't seen this guy in person so perhaps he's attractive, but by everything else I've heard I highly doubt it. Anyway, this guy lives in the city and I forget his real name so I'm just gonna call him Goober for purposes of this entry. Goober lives in the city alone with no roommates at all. He has very few, if any friends and lives in an apartment that is filled with shelled out PC's. Now I mean, this is fine, he's probably just quiet and a slow social mover, and perhaps he's a bit of a nerd, and that's fine. At the same time I can't help but feel that there is something wrong with him, and perhaps that stems from a single conversation which was passed on to me.

Elizabeth was over at Goober's house and it was getting late. Goober asks "So are you going to stay over?" To which Elizabeth replies "Yeah I may as well."
A time passes and Goober says "Well, we aren't going to do anything tonight." At this stage Elizabeth inquires "What do you mean?" and Goober answers "You know, like sex, we're not going to tonight."
Elizabeth pauses and says "Yeah, I wasn't planning on it." Thus far the conversation to me seems....strange, but passable, but I think it's here that I can pinpoint where the weirdness is for me because Goober pipes up with:

"Yeah, and I mean, I was masturbating all day to make sure."
At this Elizabeth likely gave him a strange look so Goober felt the need to add:
"Don't worry, it was to you, so it's ok."

Now, I don't think it's too presumptuous to say that any normal person would probably leave at that point and likely not talk to Goober again. For Elizabeth this is not true, she is still going out with him and even had him meet her parents this past weekend.

I'm sure it will all work itself out, for now I just hope that Kevin doesn't know who she's dating now, because if he knows what he got left for, he's gotta feel like shit. I suppose my lesson of the day is: Forget your ex's.

Have a good night everyone

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