Misunderstanding

Two or Three years ago I read a statement which said "I do what I want" and commited the simple line to memory. Since then at different points month to month I have considered those words. I've written a lot of scribbled notes of intention and free will, and whenever I've been at a complete loss for how to act, I've always turned to "I do what I want" as an overarching guide. The truth is everyone does what they want all the time, sometimes we may justify, or tell ourselves we are doing something for another, but in the end that is still what we want to do.
Those who know me and those who know me well are aware that I will often go out of my way for my friends. It's not any kind of goodness that drives me to do so, it's just what I want to do. I have frequently found myself looking out for the interests of others, particularly when it comes to relationships and persons of the female persuasion in general. Some months ago I was asked by a friend when I was going to start looking out for myself in life, and the truth is I already do and always have. I find it far easier to live with myself when I am facilitating the needs of those I love than when I am being selfish. In that way, being there for others has in itself become selfish.
Another important fact of doing what one wants is that the things we all desire are constantly changing, temporary whims and longterm desires are often in opposition and it can create a problematic decision. In general I tend to follow my temporary whims to keep myself happy, it's hollow but I can usually trust that I will always obtain my longterm desires anyway. This kind of confidence can often undermine the cause of longterm desires, but this confidence is neccessary in order to justify the indulgence of whims, and when it all comes out, so many of our decisions in life are an internal justification.
It has always been my opinion that not only America, but the entire earth is the land of opportunity, by definition life appears to be grounded in the abilities of discernment and choice. It has always been my firm belief that all dreams are attainable and everything we wish to do in this world is absolutely possible. This was found stated best to me in Richard Bach's Illusions; “You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.” This quote is absolutely beautiful to me and speaks so clearly of our power as human beings. The message in this kind of quote is the reason willpower has always been the quality I have respected most in people. And I do not mean willpower as in the ability to resist temptation, but as in the kind of moxy and guts required to pursue that which you desire. Too often in this world the first steps are the ones that are never taken and even if they are, the subsequent ones are half hearted because of the strain.
I forget the exact wording but I usd to say something about mountains being worth climbing, and this is the example I use for willpower within the world and for struggle in general. Every mountain will be worth climbing, no matter the pain, and when you reach the summit the pains suffered and the time spent become their own reward. They say that nothing worthwhile in this world is easy, and I find this to be self-defining, for as soon as something is simplistic it also becomes unrewarding. In my real life experience I have found this to be absolutely true and the best example I find is in one of my friendships. There is a girl named Scarlet who I've known for a while now, I value my relationship with her more than anything in the world, more than my other friendships by far. The reason for this isn't the length of time that we've known each other, certainly not, since it really hasn't been all that long. The reason for it's value to me isn't how much we have in common, though I find that what we do have in common is substantial. Many people can point to their most valuable friendships as being with the people who know us best, and although this is very true of our friendship, at the same time I know for a fact that this is not why it is so important and powerful to me. The truth of the matter is that in the short time we have known each other I think we have come very close to hating one another, killing one another, or just screaming at the top of our lungs and never speaking again. But through every trial the friendship has persisted, and that has not only proven it's strength, it has created it.
None of your most important dreams will ever be easy, and you will never find them anywhere but inside yourself. There will always be other people around to help or hinder you, and there will always be forces on the outside that appear to hurt you or to bring you down, but none of this matters, none of it ever will. The decision to keep going will be yours alone and in the end it is the only decision that matters. There is not a single person in this world, with the exception of the person who kills you if that is to be your fate, who can stop you from doing what you want.
I do what I want, I always will, and I will always succeed. The only question I end up asking myself, and the question which we must each ask ourselves is why. Why do we wish to do the things we wish to do. Demystifying our motivations is one of the most important factors in self-awareness. Personally I have always looked to fear as my biggest motivator, it sounds grim, but it is true. My meeker actions in life are often out of fear of losing something; apology comes when I fear I've overstepped my bounds in being an asshole; compliance comes when I fear the loss of a friend and am more willing to suffer character blows than miss a person's company; surrender and doubt come when I fear a loss within myself as a result of continued action. Likewise the majority of my bolder actions are similarly motivated by a fear, a need to step forward and protect something before it is lost, a need to conceal the very fear which motivates me and attempt to dispell it by pure bravado. We each fear a great many things. I think it's a good place to start in understanding oneself.
I was asked very recently what it is that I fear, I replied that I am afraid of nothing. Sometimes I think this is true, and when I do think this, it is. We can each overcome our fears, we can each rationalize actions based upon them and in avoidance of them. Once again if we can discover our motivations we can take the reins from our subconscious and realize that all the power in the world is within us.

Much of what I have written here is old news, it is what I have known for years, but much of it is what I have realized in the past couple of hours. Often when I have time to think I will mete out such conclusions and decide to make a change in myself. Today I have decided to become unstoppable. It sounds ludicrous, but I find that at this time in my life there are a great many things around me and a great potential for me to lose a great many opportunities if I should allow myself to be stopped, as a result my only responsive action is to refuse to be halted by any means. I will do what I want, and no mortal force will be able to stop me. Don't let them stop you either.